Spring Fever
by JustaBunchaHOOPLA
Summary: It's spring in Redmont and everyone is happy. Everyone but Halt, that is. Please review!  T for mild language. I think. Much better than summary, I hope.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my story, if haven't already noticed. Well, I got this idea a few days ago because here, where I live, spring is HERE! And I'm so happy that I wrote about it. Enjoy and review! And read it, of course.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that's Ranger's Apprentice…except the books I own on my shelf. Sadly enough. **

Chapter 1: SPRING! It's here!

"It's here! It's here! It's really, really here!" sang Will while doing a little dance.

"Yes! It's here! It's here! It's really, really here!" Gilan echoed, just annoying Halt even more. They sang on a little more through the sunny, warm, spring morning. Finally, Halt took a breath. A really, really, really, deep breath. And Will and Gilan's 'audience' bellowed so loud that the doors rattled and the ground shook. Well, not really, but you get the point.

"Will you shut the *bleep* **( insert colorful and super-secret ranger swear there**) up already! I get it! It's spring!" Halt had a murderous gleam in his eyes. And _that _look. The look he has when about to murder his long-pursued enemy. Slowly and painfully. Very, very, painfully.

"Looks like someone got out of the wrong side of the bed today!" Gilan smirked.

"I don't think there is a 'right' side of the bed for Halt," Will joked.

"Ya know-," Halt was cut off by a grinning Gilan.

"What do I know?" he replied, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Halt sighed and continued, "Why are you even here, Gilan? You came out of the blue and-,"

"And what?" Gilan smiled wider than ever. By now, Halt was really frustrated. And no one wants an angry Halt coming after them.

"Why are you here?" he asked, fed up.

"Why is who here?" Will asked his face one of an angel. He was catching onto the joke.

"Wh-wha-what-!" Halt blubbered, rather like a blubbering idiot. He sighed deeply. Apprentices, or rather, former apprentices, were annoying as always. He sighed again and went to make himself some coffee. So much for enjoying the first day of spring. Walking over to the cabinet, his eyes literally popped out of his head. NO COFFEE! **(huh? Omglol! This **_**can't **_**be happening!)**

"WILL! GILAN! WHERE ARE YOU?" Halt bellowed out. Conveniently, they were nowhere to be found. He sighed for the-what is it, fourth time that short morning and went to go saddle up Abelard. Time to get some coffee.

**Well, that was short. I'll try to update this and Mentally Lost later this weekend. Happy spring! I think I'll go practice whacking stuff with my epic Darth Maul lightsaber. :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi again! Read and review pretty, pretty, please with sugar and cherries on top with an ice cream sundae. Aww, now I'm hungry, see what happens when you don't review? I GET HUNGRY! And a hungry me isn't good when writing. Remember to review! If you review, I'll review one of your stories! **

Chapter 2 

"Gil, I'm gonna get you for this," Halt mumbled under his breath. Swinging his leg over Abelard, he stalked off inside. People walking inside after him gave a fearful look to him and decided to wait until later to get lunch. Since Halt was a Ranger, and he was the _legendary _Ranger (who could kill bears with his bare hands and was 9 feet tall), and he looked very, _very_ grumpy, people knew enough to stay away from him. _Far _away from him. As the door slammed open, the owner sighed. _They must be out of coffee again, _he thought to himself. People inside were immediately silenced by his grizzly glare, even though Halt barely glanced at him.

"What may I get you?" the owner politely asked.

"Coffee," Halt roughly said. "Give me all you have,"

The owner twiddled his thumbs (literally), and sheepishly said, "Sorry, sir, but we have just ran out…Please come again!" Suddenly retreating back into the safe shadows of the bar, he dashed into the kitchen.

"Huh, what a chicken," Halt nodded to himself as he stalked back outside to ask Pauline if she had any coffee. _She always does, _he said as he stroked Abelard's mane.

_Of course she does, _Abelard replied, stressing the 'of' sarcastically. And sighing the horse equivalent of a sigh, they shaggy horse and its master rode off to the castle.

Meanwhile…

"Gil," Will asked in a worried tone, "Are you sure Halt will like this?"

"Of course he won't!" Gilan replied cheerfully. "That's the point! He doesn't like spring, so doesn't it make sense to make it more painful for him?"

Will looked at Gil and slowly nodded once. "Sure," he replied, still quite unsure about it. Sometimes he got a little worried for Gilan and the inner workings of his mind.

**Aren't you so proud of me? I updated in the middle of the week. Hope you like it! :P I think this chapter was better than the first, but I'll let you decide that. This was short too…**


	3. Chapter 3

**I have no idea where this chapter will go…so read on! **

Chapter 3

_What the fudge…_Halt thought to himself as he walked into his cabin. It was raining…something. Something brown. Something bean-shaped. Something that clattered and clacked to the floor. Something that hit him in the eye. Hard. Something very, very hard. And it made him very, very mad. No coffee, former apprentices overly cheery, and now this? What could be worse on this beautiful, sunny spring morning? Halt exhaled slowly, and counted to ten. One… two… three… four… five… six… seven… eight… nine… ten, he thought. Focusing his energy to calm himself down, he heard every little sound. Unfortunately for Will and Gilan, he heard them. Halt's head jerked up towards the rafters. Which is where he saw Gilan balancing on his toes and Will swinging upside down. Each guilty Ranger was holding a sack of coffee beans, grinning deviously in Gil's case and red-faced in Will's case. Will gave a little wave.

"How ya doing, Halt? Long time no see," Will said conversationally, as if hanging upside down from the rafters was something he did every day.

"Yeah!" agreed Gilan, blinking innocently. "Long time no see!" Halt sighed and Gil took this as a cue to throw more beans on him. Will joined in singing, "We praise the coffee lord! The coffee lord, the coffee lord. We praise the coffee lord who drinks coffee all day long! Yeah!" Gil was laughing by now, and joined in the repeating little song that Will had thought of off the top of his head. _I have no idea where that came from, _Will thought to himself. _But it worked. _Halt had a blank stare on his face as more coffee showered down around him and the little song played in the background. Halt slowly walked over to the wall and started banging his head against it.

"Better not do that," Gilan warned.

"Yeah, you might lose _brain cells_," Will chimed in. "Malcolm taught me all about it!" he nodded smartly. Halt continued to bang his head. They poured the rest of the coffee beans over Halt and continued to praise him, the ultimate coffee lord.

"_We bow in front of you,_

_We praise you,_

_We worship you,_

_As you are the Ultimate Coffee Lord."_

They chanted and Halt finally stopped banging his head. He looked tired, older than ever while this was going on. _God help me, _he thought.

_Crack!_

The beam supporting Gilan and Will broke into pieces, and the crashed to the floor in a splintery heap. Groaning, they rolled over then went sliding on the coffee beans.

"This was a bad idea…"Gilan remarked.

"I haven't noticed," Will replied dryly. "Now I can say: Told you so!"

"Shut up," Gil grumbled. Halt just smirked.

The End

**That was my chapter, and now this story has come to a close. If you haven't already, please check out my other stories and review! My personal favorite is Halt vs. Tape, so read that one first. I'm not done with Mentally Lost…yet **

**You know, I might even write a whole story about Halt the coffee lord. It came to me out of nowhere… lol **

**Remember to review!**


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